Star Wars Movies

EDIT: I pulled this one from the archives. Which means I wrote this original entry months ago, intending to post it when the others were finished. Then I didn’t finish the others. Well, it’s past time. I’m going to write two or three more entries to this series. Enjoy.

This entry is going to be a little different than previous entries. First off, I have been a Star Wars fan since I heard The Phantom Menace was going to be in theatres. A few of my friends hyped the Original Trilogy, but I couldn’t get into it. It was too old for me. I went to all the Prequels in the theatres and have been in love ever since. Recently, I have been watching the Acolyte after putting it off due to controversy I’ve seen online. I’m a firm believer that in order to tell a story, you need to entertain more than preach…no matter the topic. But I’ve really enjoyed the Acolyte and it had reignited the fire of my obsession. So, over the next few entries, I’m going to rank my favorite movies in order of least favorite to most favorite.

Keep in mind, this is my own personal opinion and with the exception of Number 11 on this list, I would gladly watch every single one of these over and over again. All Star Wars movies are a little hokie with bad dialogue. This standard from the OT is a little bit of what makes these movies appealing. I ranked these as simple as sitting down and asking myself if I would watch this one over that one. And this blog post is my way of deciphering why I rank them the way I do. So, without further ado, here is my list starting with my least favorite:

#11: Solo

This entry is garbage. Completely unwatchable. I didn’t make it through the first time and had the help of whiskey the second. I can’t think of one thing redeemable about this movie. I know there are people who would say my opinion is skewed, being as it couldn’t keep my attention, but I do remember the Darth Maul cameo and the room full of relics from other movies we were supposed to be impressed by. I liked all the actors, but the story was just boring and it didn’t feel like Star Wars.

Here's the problem: As writers, we build back stories to add depth and flavor to our characters. We don’t need to explore how Han won the Millennium Falcon, we just know he did it gambling and that’s a great description of his character. We don’t need to see the hunk of space junk make the Kessel run in 12 parsecs, that bit of info just shows Han’s love for the ship, and that’s all we need. When you explore someone’s back story, you’re taking away all the stories and info that make them three dimensional and make it the character arc of a flat and uninteresting character. No thanks.

#10: Episode IX; The Rise of Skywalker

I can’t imagine this one is a surprise. As a writer, I was infuriated at the absolute lack of direction, character arcs, and waste of potential the final chapter of the Skywalker saga brought. I worried from the moment Disney announced this trilogy would have three different directors that the story would suffer from inconsistency. Hey, we’ve all tried discovery writing a story with our friends or writing group, right?

I’m sure you’ve heard a hundred and one things wrong with this movie, so I’ll just touch on a few. If you are going to add stories to a trilogy or series of stories that have already been wrapped up (and wrapped up quite nicely I do believe) then you’d better have something important to add to the story. Bringing Palpatine back cheapened the victory of Anakin and Luke. Nobody restarted the Jedi Order. The ruling body of the universe was vague and unconvincing. Nothing was added to the legendary Skywalker saga, but much was cheapened, and that’s why the Disney trilogy failed. They would have been better off doing their own movies and trying to make Rey as iconic as Anakin and Luke in her own story.

I’ve been wracking my brain for something positive to say about this entry, but I’m coming up empty. This is simply a movie that I will turn off my brain and enjoy if all my other Star Wars DVDs are scratched or broken.

#9: Episode VIII; The Last Jedi

It pains me like you cannot believe to put this movie so low on my list. Just between you and me, I’ll throw this on before many of the other movies. It’s a quick watch and I’ve got stuff to do, and..

Wait-a-minute… a quick watch?

That’s right. The Rey-Kylo Ren story arc in this movie is one of my favorites in the whole of the movies. They are connected, they are opposites, they are pulling each other in a direction they each don’t want to go. Kylo Ren isn’t evil just to be evil but is a part of the Dark Side for a strong reason. He is a great character with an iconic backstory. Rey’s character is lesser so, but with a good reason at this point. She is still trying to find herself and doesn’t know who she is. Her story is about self-discovery.

The rest I just fast-forward through.

Finn’s story arc is pointless and a waste of time. Aside from his climax (fighting his old boss, Phasma) his whole story is a throwaway. His climax was something we all wanted to see and something he needed to go through, but nothing in his story led there. There was no build up. Not to mention the throw away arc of his awakening force abilities (COME ON, WHY WOULDN’T YOU CONTINUE THAT?!) Finn should have overcome his past in this movie in order to move forward as the hero of the series in the next movie. Finn’s story arc had the biggest potential and was the biggest fail of this trilogy. More on that in a second.

You want a good movie that ends on a dark note reminiscent of the Empire Strikes Back. I would have Rey join Kylo in her indecision and start the next movie as a disciple of the dark side. Like I said, then it would be up to Finn and his budding force powers to stop them. I would have her fall darker than Kylo Ren, shocking him back from his fall into the gray area of redemption. In my final movie, Rey would be the unstoppable antagonist Finn and Kylo Ren would be working to stop. Missed opportunity!

I’ll get off my pedestal for now and end here. You didn’t see Attack of the Clones on this list yet, did you. How crazy am I? How far up the list do you think I put it? Come back for the next installment to find out.